Here's to a fresh new start!


It has been a very long time since I got my hands on this blog. There was only me and ASOS an hour ago, before I decided to ignore those 3 items in my shopping cart begging me to splurge another 5% of my monthly salary on clothes that I don't really need. Thank God I managed to stay away.

The only reason I come back here has got to do with a promise I made to myself recently; to write more until I get to be more articulate in delivering my thoughts and ideas! One thing I realise when I talk to people is I tend to babble. Most of the time I used the wrong words and my grammar was out of place. I found myself sharing things that aren't meant to be shared and saying things that sometimes hurt other people's feelings. I ended up feeling awful about myself. Things have got to change. Thank you to someone who has inspired me to write again. I used to dislike her due to a happenstance in the past. I still do now but I guess that feeling has gradually dissolves into admiration since I gave myself a chance to know her a little bit more.

Anyway, as you can see here, I gave my blog a new layout, yay! It's nothing much but it does present my inner state of being at the moment, empty and monotonous. There's nothing much going on inside of me right now apart of I'm still struggling to fight against my own demons for me to earn that inner peace. I have my dark past that only Allah knows how hard it is for me to leave it behind. I want to be better for the sake of my future kids so I can be the one whom they can look up to. I want to be better so that I can be the best co-pilot for my husband. I know I can do it. I guess I just need to keep on moving forward and ask for His mercy. It's the only means to get into His Paradise.

So this is to a fresh new start. At least for me. May this motivation continue to blossom. Amin.


A knight in shining white shirt

This incident happened during last SWOTVAC. It was that very moment when my friends and I were about to walk out from Melbourne Central to chase for a tram. We just got back from Asam Event and it was raining heavily outside the building. Out of sudden, I got a muscle cramp on both legs that brought me to a static state. It hurts me so bad that I cannot even walk a step. There were some excruciating contractions of my calf muscles and at the foot muscles as well. That kind of cramp was very similar with my usual nocturnal leg cramps which can always lead me to a rude awakening at nights but only this time, it happened in the middle of the city where people were rushing their life out of it.

My friends were helplessly panic and so did I. Nonetheless, there was this cute local guy watching from behind. He’s kinda not too sure to help at first but when I screamed in pain, he then asked my friend, “What’s going on ladies?”. My friend told him about my cramp and without even touching me, he asked me to bend my knee forwardly and follow his instructions. I can sense that his behaviour reflects the fact that I was wearing a hijab at that time. I did exactly like he told me to but my legs still can’t be moved.

“Put your hand on my shoulder. Put your hand on my shoulder”. That’s all I can remember the moment he asked my permission to lift me up and bring me to a sidewalk bench with a help from my friend. I felt so embarrassed but I gotta hold on to my feeling as the pain really bugged me. 

So that’s pretty much it. And then my knight in shining white shirt left me on the bench with some good advices on how to cure legs cramp. “It happens all the time”, that’s what he said. What a gentleman.


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Rex: D, do you know how to spell ren-daun?
Me: Oh, do you mean rundown?
Rex: No no no, just ren-daun. Ah you know, the famous Malaysian dish, ren-daunnn?
Me: Rendang?


Adorable. Just adorable~

Meet Zain and Din

The big brother; Zain

Zain: Grandma told me you really need the money for good. So she told us to be nice to you. We promise to be a good student!

Din: I have like 72 dollars in my account. I can give 'em to you if you like?

Zain: Me either! But does 16 dollars okay with you? That's all I have. I bought a new PSP the other day. Sorry, I should have known this.

Me: ....

p/s: I promise you I never say that. My landlord just made up a story so that the boys will pay more attention during the mengaji class. Tapi diorang sangat baik kan sampai nak offer bagi duit? Haha. Sangat naive tapi sangat suci.


Children of heaven

"Boo hoo!" Zain and Din tried to surprise me. They came out of under the dining table and jumped out in front of me the moment I step into the kitchen. Poor Zain. He was about to gait upon the table when his attempt to surprise me was to no avail.

"Wooo!" I pretended to bowl out when they screaming out loud to my face.

"Boys, you frightened me! I thought I was seeing bogeyman. Uuu." Aha, a little white lie won't hurt kan?
"Don't you scared or something? Your face didn't show 'em." Zain was right. I forgot that I ain't good at acting.

"We've waited for you for so long. Then I thought you just don't wanna teach us anymore cause we didn't finish our homework last week. So Din came out with the idea to scare you out when you come home. We are so sorry."

I went out shopping this morning when I realised I have to teach the boys mengaji on the evening. Upon being half an our late to the class, I'm the one who should asking for forgiveness. Heh.

. . . .

"Can we stop now? I'm so hungry! I wanna eat roti." Din tried to 'seduce' me with his sapphire eyes. I was melted.

"No no no. There is no way I'm gonna let you guys eat until you finish memorise the Surah Al-Falaq. Do you still remember your promise?" I was trying to be a strict teacher. Heh.

"Okaaayy, you promise if we finish memorise all of them then we can eat roti?" Zain still making those cute faces.


. . . .

"Yes we're done! Can we eat roti now?" Din was the first to finish read out the surah in front of me. He grasped some air many times while his fingers couldn't stop counting the harakat while reciting the surah. I was quite enjoyed to see that they were so ebullient when memorising the surah and Din kept on jumping over my bed while reading the muqaddam. Oh I have to teach them how to read the Holy Quran properly.

Before they went home, they ran toward me and reached my hands. Kissing it so softly like a gentlemen. Touched. Honoured. Loved. That's the mixed feelings I had.

"See ya Dalila! We'll see you next week! I'm gonna teach Aman and Ijjaz the eating do'a as well!"

These boys were amazing. Despite all the troubles they caused me (in an acceptable way), somehow they managed to fill in the empty room. :D